High Ramblings about Aliens

So I just realized I am terrified of aliens. I have no idea why. The fear is somewhat akin to the fear I have of dinosaurs (read about that in my earlier post about fears).
See I am someone who rarely has nightmares. I can remember a handful of dreams that have inspired abject terror in me: one with a jazz musician, one with a doll house, a bunch with dinosaurs (of course), and fucking aliens.
I don’t know, there’s this quote that says that either we’re alone in the universe or we aren’t, and either option is truly terrifying. Those aren’t the exact words, but that’s the gist. And boy, how I relate to that shit.
The universe is so big, I mean, is it really possible that we are the only life forms?
We can’t be. And that is kind of scary. The bing bang supposedly happened 7 billion years ago, or something like that, and it took around 200,000 years for mankind to have advanced so far.
That isn’t even 1/7 of the amount of time the universe as we know it has existed.
What if another planet got the recipe for intelligence and sentient life right in the first billion years? Or two billion? Or three billion? Or even four?
Either way, it is possible that intelligent life as we define it exists some where else out there, and they could possibly have a really big heads start.
I don’t know why I fear aliens, I mean, whose to say that they are like humans?
If we are the epitome of intelligent life then I fear for the universe.
But I mean, while chimpanzees are violent and territorially, their cousins, bonobos, are much more loving and kind.

-high ramblings of a stoner

High Ramblings about Age

What’s it like to be old?
What’s it like to have so much experience?
What’s it like to have lived for decades?
At the moment, I am not even two decades yet. Not until next month anyways. And I already feel like I’ve come so far. I feel like my life could end now and I’ve experienced enough.
But what is it like to gain decades worth of experiences?
What’s it like to have learned so much?
Not necessarily things that involve school learning, but what’s it like to be human for so long?
At times, I find myself thinking about the past, wishing I would have known then what I know now.
Will I feel like that in the future as well?
That odd almost regret. Not a powerful one, but like you know, a subtle regret.
Or will I understand that the reason I know so much then, is because of all the experiences I have in the past?
Who will I be?
What will I have accomplished, if anything?
Will I be who I want to be?
Will I not like who I became?
How much will I have lost?
How much willI I have gained?
For the first time in my life I actually am looking forward to the future. I used to shy away from it. I used to fear it. I used to dread it.
But now?
Now I greet it warmly with open hands.
I’ve finally had my change of heart.

-high ramblings of a stoner

High Ramblings about Fears

I never really knew what I was afraid of. I never had that one fear that truly terrifies me. That would paralyze me. I’m fine with heights, spiders aren’t that big of a deal, and I actually like snakes. I’m not afraid of natural disasters, for the most part, or any more afraid than your average person, and I’m not really even afraid of death. Not saying there is no fear there, it’s just, I don’t live my life with that cloud hanging over me, tainting my perspective in shades of gray.

However, there is one thing that I admit absolutely terrifies me. This one thing gives me nightmares. Me, who watches horror movies nearly every day and reads horror stories and urban legends on the web. Me, who plays horror stories on youtube. Me who rarely if ever has nightmares.

And that thing is dinosaurs. Or rather more specifically meat eating dinosaurs. I don’t know what it is about them, maybe the fact that they are an unholy cross between chickens and snakes. Maybe cause they were probably the inspiration behind the myth of the basilisk and dragons. I don’t know but I have nightmares about them. In them, some others and I are sprinting away, trying to escape, when the snake chickens corner us or pick us off one by one. Till its only me left. And I feel them. I feel them as they sink their teeth into my flesh. I don’t know how that particular amount of pain would feel, but I feel a sort of shadow of it.

Well, that’s my greatest fear. I don’t know why but it is. Ind i guess that’s sort of a good thing since dinosaurs don’t exist anymore. So I suppose I dodged a bullet there. I don’t have to conquer my fears cause my fears have been vanquished.

-High ramblings of a stoner